Thursday, August 04, 2005

It's the end of the world as we know it....and I feel hungry?


The idea for this meme-tag came from a post on Winos and Foodies. A reporter at the Sydney Morning Herald was given a culinary carte blanche. He could eat whatever he wanted, anywhere he wanted, money was no barrier to his enjoyment.
So, here's the scenario I'd like you to consider:
You're at home in the kitchen stuffing button mushrooms. How you've come to be doing aforementioned culinary torture I'll leave up to you. Whilst tuning your radio you stumble across a transmission from a fast approaching armada of Giant Alien Ant Invaders. Crickey, you think. Now, these soon to be Alien Ant Masters of Earth are a canny bunch and realise you've tuned in to their supposedly secret invasion plans. One of them visits you in your kitchen. After the initial shock of finding someone actually stuffing mushrooms, he/she/it relays to you the fact that they are all deeply embarrassed by the slight mishap with your radio and by way of apology they would like to offer you a gift (they can't abide impoliteness these new alien ant masters of ours). The deal is you get three uses of one of the spaceships to visit three places the next day, you can have three meals anywhere in the world, they'll hold off the invasion till your done, you can even use one of their intergalactic credit cards (credits good for, say, the purchase of a reasonably sized continent). They might even throw in an afternoon tea if their not too busy.
Oh yes, and the really clever thing is you can travel about in time too (they are nothing if not thorough these guys)
So, where and what you gonna eat?
Me? I'll be brief.
  • I'd start the day by unwrapping a packet of Turkish Blend cigarettes from an amazing tobacconist on the Charing Cross Road. I guess as it's the last day I may as well enjoy a smoke (yes I have given up, well kinda, anyway...).
  • Breakfast would be in the kitchen of the White Elephant Club on Curzon Street in 1982. They had this patissier there called Eric. The man was a genius. A grade A grumpy bastard. But a genius. Chou pastry like I have never ever tasted before or since.
  • Lunch from the fish and chip kiosk on Shelly Beach in Manly, Sydney, a couple of years ago.
  • Afternoon tea at Claridges in the 20's.
  • Dinner would have to be a rollicking night with a enormous posse of mates in San Sebastian in Spain, bouncing from bar to bar eating pinxhos and then finally ending at Arzak.
If you decide to tag along then give me a shout.

8 comments:

Sam said...

You are daft as a brush.
Hilarious.
so these spaceships travel through time i take it - too.

Monkey Gland said...

Yup, time travel's a must in the Giant Alien Ant game...;-)

Sara Zoe Patterson said...

you are wise - my initial reaction was thinking of places I've never/probably will never be able to eat at (cost, difficulty of reservations, cost, etc.). But it's the last day, you want to be sure of good meals. You are wise, very wise.

Unknown said...

I only get 3 choices? Wow those Alien Ant Masters drive a hard bargain. I clearly have some thinking to do.

I know that I definitely will not be going back for a kebab in Turkey. If that was chicken, I will be very surprised.

Monkey Gland said...

I'm sure if you bribe them with some sugary water they'll let you have a couple more trips.

Anonymous said...

I am SO riding this bandwagon... fully brilliant, outlandish space alien scenario and all.

Guy said...

Hmmm, is they meat ants or is they sugar ants?

MmMMm, sugar meat.

Anonymous said...

Out of this world !Give me a sec, this is a tough one.